From: Office of Compliance

To: All Members, staffers and support personnel

Date:Oct. 23, 2003

Re: Your safety

Having removed the hazardous soda machines from the Cannon Building basement, we are now turning our attention to several other risks facing those who work in and visit the House of Representatives.

Beginning immediately, the Office of Compliance is taking the following actions:

— Replacing all pointed scissors with those featuring rounded edges;

— Removing staplers (they can cause serious injury to office personnel);

— Closing all entrances with steps (the opportunity for staff and visitors to slip and tumble down the stairs presents a liability);

— Removing Cloakroom doors (they pose a swinging hazard);

— Lowering the podium on the House floor to eliminate the risk of Members falling off the dais;

— Covering all marble floors with double-padded wall-to-wall carpeting;

— Enclosing all statues in iron lockboxes to prevent toppling;

— Removing all trees (this eliminates the possibility of falling limbs);

— Eliminating tunnels between buildings to prevent people from being trapped if a ceiling collapses or a flood occurs;

— Forbidding people from walking between the Capitol and office buildings to eliminate the risk of being run over;

— Removing all computers to prevent carpal tunnel syndrome.

We appreciate your immediate attention and cooperation with these matters. These steps will ensure that the Capitol and its office buildings remain a hazard-free workplace.