Oh, the papal tchotchkes you’ll see!  

Are you worried you won’t be able to catch a glimpse of the popemobile as it ferries Pope Francis down Pennsylvania Avenue? Fret not. The National Shrine Shops, operators of the gift shop at the Basilica of the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception — just below where the pontiff will celebrate Mass on Wednesday and canonize Junípero Serra — has for sale a 7-inch model for the low, low price of $99.95! The “resin/stone mix with metal accents” comes with a “statue reproduction of the Pope waving” and “plays the Hallelujah chorus from Handel’s Messiah as Pope Francis spins to greet all who have come to see him,” so says the National Shrines Shops website.  

But wait! That’s not all!  

Thirty bucks will get you the Pope Francis Medallion, “sculpted and engraved by Don Everhart, an official engraver for the U.S. Mint. The inside features the art of the Basilica’s Junípero Serra stained glass window and historical information about this new saint,” according to the gift shop website.  

There is so much more.  

There is the Pope Francis Prayer Card, in English or Spanish, for 95 cents. It’s the same price for the Pope Francis Rosary set, also in English or Spanish.  

The Love is Our Mission Prayer Mug, with regular or large images of the pontiff, goes for $9.95. If clothing is your thing, the Love is Our Mission T-shirt is available for $19.95.  

And if Pope Francis Holy Water ($5 regular size in a tasteful blue bottle and $14.95 for a large bottle) is not your liquid papal stuff of choice, there’s Francis Cologne for $29.95.  

All proceeds go to the Basilica’s ministry. And all knick-knacks invariably go first to one’s office cube and then eventually to Goodwill.