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Heard on the Hill: White House Needs a New Party Planner

After spending four years as the planet’s most organized man, retired Rear Adm. Stephen Rochon is bidding adieu to his role as the White House’s chief usher.

His life as the White House head of household is no more, thanks to his new position in the Department of Homeland Security. For Rochon, a decorated Coast Guard officer, a life planning state dinners and Easter egg rolls will soon be a distant memory — well, unless border control gets a little more fun and a lot less crucial for national security.

Rochon’s new gig isn’t too shabby, though. He will serve as the principal executive for strategic integration at the U.S. Customs and Border Protection, but HOH thinks chief usher is a snazzier title. And, we think, probably has a lot better perks.

As for border control, Rochon’s experience at the White House has undoubtedly given him the ability to hold back the masses. After all, 200,000 people tried to score tickets to this year’s Easter egg roll, but there were only 30,000 lucky winners.

HOH looks forward to hearing how Rochon will class up the Department of Homeland Security — who knows, maybe next season its soirees will be all the rage?

But before the other Usher starts singing “Yeah!” in celebration that he’s now the chief, we at HOH await the announcement of the White House’s new master of ceremonies with bated breath.