Skip to content

In keeping with this week’s Weiner theme, the Montana State Society announced their seventh annual D.C. Testicle Festival on Thursday.

In what may be the greatest press release ever written, the festival organizers promise that for a measly $20 you will get “all the balls you can eat (and all the liquid courage you need)” and an “incredible T-Shirt.” Schwag score! There will also be live country music provided by the Wil Gravatt Band.

The invite features several fake celebrity endorsements giving the Rocky Mountain oysters love.

“Eating Rocky Mountain Oysters is almost as fun as actually harvesting them,” Sarah Palin didn’t really say in a statement.

“I’m gonna let you finish,” Kanye West didn’t insist. “But this is going to be one of the best parties of all time. Of all time!”

“We don’t exist,” SEAL Team 6 doesn’t really say. “But if we did, this would be our kind of party.”

The Testy-Festy will be hosted at the Arlington American Legion from 6 p.m. until 10 p.m. Saturday, June 11.

Here’s hoping the aptly named Montana Sen. Jon Tester (D) will make a cameo.

Recent Stories

Kim launches primary challenge after Menendez refuses to quit

Four spending bills readied for House floor amid stopgap uncertainty

Menendez rejects New Jersey Democrats’ calls to resign after indictment

Photos of the week ending September 22, 2023

Dressing down — Congressional Hits and Misses

Menendez indictment comes with Democrats playing 2024 defense