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HOH’s One-Minute Recess: Dear Neglected Loved One

For many of us, this August recess will be the first time we have seen our friends and family in many, many months. You may find that they have forgotten your face or how they are related to you. Readjusting to life off the Hill can be hard.

For some of us, we may even run up against some resistance. That is why HOH has come up with a letter of reintroduction to help smooth your transition back to the “real world.”

Dear (Husband/Wife/Significant Other/Child/Parent/Friend),

Now that the (Democrats/Republicans/tea partyers) have (saved/ruined) America, I look forward to spending time with you this August.

I realize that since I have been working to (report/elect/repeal/reform/extend/fund/defund) _________ since the (Troubled Asset Relief Program/2008 general elections/stimulus bill/health care reform law /financial regulation overhaul/2010 midterm elections/first continuing resolution through the last continuing resolution/debt ceiling deal/________), I have been (preoccupied/stressed out/absent/insane).

I realize that I might have missed several important events (circle all that apply), including (the birth of our son or daughter/your marriage/your first steps/your high school or college graduation/our divorce/________). In addition, I apologize for sending an intern in my place. I should have known you could not be fooled.

I promise to make these oversights up to you by buying you a (pony/ring/car/drink/________). I am confident that, if given a chance, I could earn back your (love/affection/forgiveness) by Labor Day when Congress reconvenes. At the very least, my efforts to reconnect with you will contribute to the U.S. economy, which is both important and American.


Your Husband/Wife/Significant Other/Child/Parent/Friend

P.S. — Fair warning: Because Congress has not passed any spending bills this year, I may miss (Christmas/Hanukkah/New Year’s Eve/our anniversary) again.

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