HOH’s One-Minute Recess: Political Roller Derby

Posted October 7, 2011 at 11:13am

The DC Rollergirls, those lovely ladies who ram and jam for our carnal delight, kick off their sixth season this Sunday by welcoming the latest bunch of bosomed baddies, the Majority Whips.

The new crew boasts two politically branded competitors: Nasty Pelosi, aka Holland & Knight tribal affairs attorney/lobbyist Gigi Modrich, and partly anonymous Stabigail Adams (her given name is Abigail).

A DC Rollergirls aide tells HOH that skaters are given carte blanche when developing aliases, a task that turned out to be a no-brainer for Modrich, a self-described fan of House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.).

“She’s a strong leader with an impressive record at getting things done. I believe my name demonstrates that I mean business,” Modrich says, adding that it was “pure luck” that she got drafted by the nascent Majority Whips earlier this summer. The ex-artistic Junior Olympic roller skater is psyched to mix it up with the other local squads — a roster including Scare Force One, Cherry Blossom Bombshells, DC Demoncats and the Majority Whips.

Other politically dubbed locals include Condoleeza Slice (SFO), Marion Barrycuda (SFO), Lady Burn Johnson (DD) and Guantanamo Babe (CBB).

And a broader search of the world roller derby name registry turned up Barrack O’Harmher, Baberaham Lincoln, Barbara Bushwhacker, Margaret Thrasher and Sarah Whalin’.

At press time, emails to the offices of Pelosi and House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) inquiring about any potential derby outings remained unanswered.

The Majority Whips will bout against the DC Demoncats during a double-header this Sunday (doors open at 3 p.m.) at the D.C. Armory.