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A Load of Bull

Do you know how to cook up a plate of steaming bull testicles?

If you do, or if you’re keen to try, please let HOH or the good folks at the Montana State Society know. The group needs someone to take the bull by the horns for the 2012 D.C. Testy Festy.

“Each year, the Montana State Society hosts the D.C. Testicle Festival, where we serve Rocky Mountain Oysters,” says Jed Link, president of the Montana State Society and spokesman for GOP Rep. Denny Rehberg. “We need someone to cook them this year.”

It seems the former testy chef, Daniel Kim, has moved to Hawaii, leaving the group — and all us Festy fans — a chef short of a party.

What does it take to be a Rocky Mountain Oyster chef?

“[A] chef who has what it takes to prepare a sack of Rocky Mountain Oysters for a rowdy crowd of adventurous D.C.-area partygoers,” Link tells us. “The annual D.C. Testicle Festival is a one-of-a-kind event in D.C. that brings a lot of Western flavor.”

“Forget ‘Iron Chef,’” he continues. “This is the culinary Mount Everest, and I’m betting there’s a chef out there somewhere who wants to carve their name into history.”

Don’t worry chefs, there is no set recipe, which “leaves a lot of leeway for culinary creativity,” Link says. Interested chefs should contact

For those who feel a little skittish about trying this cowboy delicacy, we feel compelled to remind you that the Montana State Society promises to include all-you-can-drink Crown Royal and beer.

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