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The Tale of Michael the Intern

Say what you will about outgoing Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D), but he is a hero … at least he is to one Hill intern named Michael.

One of the brand-new summer interns was gathering signatures from Members on a letter to the Environmental Protection Agency “expressing our support for a collaborative effort between EPA and D.C. Water to incorporate green infrastructure,” said James Walkinshaw, chief of staff to Rep. Gerry Connolly (D-Va.).

The office needed a signature from Rep. Jim Moran’s (D-Va.) office.

Bravely, Michael the Intern answered this call even though he had to catch a 6 p.m. train. The young intern began his quest through the Capitol’s labyrinthine underbelly, from Connolly’s office to Moran’s.

If I don’t get lost, Michael thought, I can make the train!

Unfortunately, our hero’s path was not easy and, as all interns soon learn, the trek from the Rayburn House Office Building to the Cannon House Office Building is a treacherous one. Many have been sacrificed to the “infamous Rayburn Horseshoe.”

Michael the Intern was soon lost.

Egad! What will happen to our hero?

Just when he was about to give up, a Member of Congress appeared. That Member was one Dennis Kucinich!

“What is the rush?” the Congressman asked.

“I’m going to miss my train,” Michael said. “And I have to get this signature from Mr. Moran!”

Never fear! Kucinich said: “I’ll deliver this letter!”

And — huzzah! — he did.

“Thanks to Dennis Kucinich,” Michael told his co-workers later, “I made my train.”

Connolly’s office confirms that because of Kucinich’s heroics, the EPA letter has been signed, sealed and delivered.

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