Aspiring lieutenant governor and Texas Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson is giving the House Natural Resources Committee an earful about his enduring fight against conservation groups that he says are fixated on protecting a lizard.

Patterson’s beef isn’t with the nascent dunes sagebrush lizard — “It’s only been a species since 1991,” Patterson proclaimed — so much as with the “radical environmental groups” that have sued to block oil companies from further infringing on the reptile’s West Texas stomping grounds.

Patterson’s been at this for a while, so confidence is low he’ll say anything particularly groundbreaking. It might be worth tuning in just to hear what innuendo he will slip into the conversation this time.

Will it be the old how to “make it interesting” jibe:

Or the “reptile dysfunction” train of attack: