Ah, Democratic press secretaries. They make for such good copy. At least when it comes to their always entertaining listserv.

On Tuesday morning, the following missive came to the attention of HOH.

“Anyone have a good contact at the Dr. Oz show?” a press secretary asked.

Apparently not. Sadly, HOH does not have a good, or even average, contact with anyone at Dr. Mehmet Oz’s show.

Still, we were a little curious as to why a Congressman would need to talk to Dr. Oz, the surgeon made famous by his appearances on Oprah Winfrey’s talk show and who now has his own syndicated show.

“Let’s not get into that,” the press secretary behind the query tells HOH.

No problem! We’ll just ask some other Hill staffers why their bosses might need to see Dr. Oz. Here was the most plausible list:

1. Ex-Rep. Thaddeus McCotter (R-Mich.) lands his dream spot as executive director of the “Got Milk?” campaign.

2. Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio) confuses Dr. Oz with the Wizard of Oz.

3. [Redacted] has an itch.

4. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) finds a doctor that supports the Affordable Care Act.

5. Sen. Dick Lugar (R-Ind.) is looking to cure a broken heart.

For now, might we suggest the “Ask Dr. Oz” section of the show’s website or perhaps the “Be on the Dr. Oz Show” section?

In the meantime, we’re going to find out if chocolate really is good for the heart, or what we can do to keep ourselves and our family safe on vacation.