Who Would You Want in Your Corner?

Posted November 1, 2012 at 12:01am

If anything, the past few days of hunkering down to wait out Hurricane Sandy have made us ponder who we’d want in our corners if things go wrong.

Before the storm hit, we at HOH were pondering Halloween-appropriate stories and asked our readers which Members of Congress would you want in your survival group in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Post-Sandy, the question has taken on new resonance, as we survey the damage to the Eastern United States. So without further ado, here are the Members our loyal readers see as the most essential to getting through a disaster.

Rep. Roscoe Bartlett (R-Md.)

Bartlett is never one to back down from a fight — just consider this 86-year-old’s intense battle for re-election. The scientist, inventor and engineer also has a survivalist cabin ready to go.

Rep. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.)

During the summer of 2009, Flake spent one week on an uninhabited island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean seeing whether he had what it took to survive as a castaway. “I brought with me a manual desalination pump for fresh water and a mask, fins and pole-spear to obtain food, along with a hammock, knife, sunscreen, a cooking pot and little else,” Flake wrote in his diary.

Rep. John Kline (R-Minn.)

He flew Marine helicopters in Vietnam and years later flew the president’s helicopter, Marine One. He served as a military aide to Presidents Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan, so he can work with both parties in high-
pressure situations.

Sen. Jim Webb (D-Va.)

“There is just something about Jim Webb,” one reader said, adding, “He is a cold-blooded killer.” Webb is a Marine and another Vietnam veteran, as well as a former secretary of the Navy. He is also a successful novelist and screenwriter, so when the electric grid goes down, his storytelling chops will be a crucial source of entertainment.

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.)

The New Yorker famously kept two rifles under the bed in her upstate home. After it was widely reported where she kept them, she moved the guns, we guess to keep the element of surprise for potential home invaders. As a former special counsel for the Department of Housing and Urban Development, Gillibrand will also ensure that housing arrangements are always made fairly.

Rep. Cedric Richmond (D-La.)

Richmond has several skill sets that make him perhaps the most valuable member of this caucus. As a New Orleans native, he knows how to pick up the pieces after a disaster such as Hurricane Katrina. As the best baseball player in Congress, his athletic skills will come in handy when it’s time to organize exercise and leisure activities. And speaking of leisure, as the Member of Congress who represents New Orleans, Richmond knows how to plan a party. Le Bon Temps Roule!