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Spiritual Leader to Exorcise Congressional Demons

Pray at the Pump founder Rocky Twyman, a dogged advocate of bipartisan prayer summits and having elected officials consult with the Almighty on just about everything, feels the time is ripe for a little housecleaning.

His first order of business: a public exorcism on Capitol Hill, scheduled to take place Wednesday from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. on the East Front of the campus.

Though usually at war with rising gas prices, Twyman is currently consumed by the mind-numbing fiscal cliff fight. President Barack Obama and Speaker John A. Boehner, R-Ohio, have all but pushed everyone to the sidelines as they struggle to bridge the intensely ideological gap over federal revenue and spending by year’s end.

“We are angry at our leaders who are dragging their feet and endangering the economic stability of our great nation with this ridiculous partisanship posturing,” Twyman charged in an email blast.

He said he got the idea for the spiritual purge after hearing Rep. Maxine Waters, D-Calif., rail against the “demons” obstructing congressional productivity earlier this year. “As you know, she is a fireball,” Twyman said. “We are hoping that she will join us.”

At press time, Twyman was still working to recruit an honest-to-god priest to assist in the ceremony. He told HOH his group will move forward with the event — which is set to feature holy water, healing oil and a chorus of the civil rights anthem “We Shall Overcome” — no matter what.

“The answers to America’s problems are so simple. If only Obama and Boehner truly asked God to help them,” he said.

Should this latest intervention fall on deaf ears, Twyman hinted pinch-hitting for the Almighty might be his only recourse.

“This is why I feel like running for president,” he shared. “We trust man, more than God.”

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