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Getting to Know Marco Rubio

While mainstream media got all hot and bothered about Florida Republican Sen. Marco Rubio’s post-SOTU drinking habits (Poland Spring ought to flood his political action committee with loot), Internet denizens have much more burning questions about the rising GOP star.

(Auto-fill is a journalistic godsend.)

Google

Google Rubio search
(Screenshot)

I smell a holy war.

Bing

Bing Rubio search
(Screenshot)

Now’s your chance to snap those all important “before” pics, Rogaine.

Yahoo!

Yahoo! Rubio search
(Screenshot)

Height-ists are the worst.

Ask

Ask.com Rubio search
(Screenshot)

Confidence is medium that The Donald is all over this.

Alta Vista

Alta Vista Rubio search
(Screenshot)

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