There are those in Washington who insist there is no rhyme or reason to the looming sequester cuts. The Heritage Foundation flack Amy Payne would beg to differ — and has whimsically done so via her “Seuss-quester.”

Payne told HOH that once she got the rhymes down — all 19 paragraphs’ worth — the sing-songy synopsis came together in just a matter of hours.

Luckily, she’s been preparing for this moment since first learning how to put pen to paper.

“I’ve written poems my whole life,” she said, sharing that there’s been nary a holiday when her parents weren’t met by some heartfelt, homespun musings.

And while Washington insiders are likely sick of reading (and writing) the same sequester-related stories, Payne figured she’d take a step back and recap the issue for casual observers.

“This is something that can reach people who may not be following this as closely as the rest of us,” she said of the alterna-update.