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Ted Poe Decries Gitmo Perks

(Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call)
(Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call)

Rep. Ted Poe took to the House floor Monday to deliver yet another conservative indictment of wasteful government spending.

His latest target: the party boys living high on the hog at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba.

“’English as a second language,’ ‘Pashto to English,’ ‘Arabic to English,’ ‘art,’ ‘life skills,’ ‘computers,’ ‘personal health and wellness,’ ‘finance and business’ — sounds like courses at a swanky New England university, but these are just a few classes offered at Gitmo University on the Caribbean,” the Texas Republican deadpanned for the C-SPAN cameras.

He went on to denounce the career training some of the detainees have been receiving (“Are they going someplace?” he wondered) and their access to a multimedia library (“17,000 books, video games and CDs”). And, just for good measure, he railed against their recreational options.

“Terrorists have access to the fancy, new taxpayer-funded $750,000 soccer field — play volleyball, basketball, table tennis, and even foosball,” Poe raged. “Mr. Speaker, why does the government spend millions to train and entertain those who kill Americans?”

That multipurpose field does sound pretty sweet.

But we highly doubt any other prisoners anywhere would sign up to endure religious persecution and prolonged sessions of

and prolonged sessions of interrogatory Twister just to partake in a few pickup futbol games.

And let’s not forget the 40-odd detainees who will presumably never see the inside of a courtroom or be let off that floating tomb.

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