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Begich to Mediocre Pizza CEO: Stop Hatin’ on Halibut

Yo Domino’s. If you’re going to insult a fish while trying to put together a clever ad campaign, Sen. Mark Begich, D-Alaska, would prefer you not pick on halibut.

The senator sent a halibut fillet and accompanying letter to Domino’s Pizza CEO J. Patrick Doyle accusing him of having an “uniformed palate” that led to his slight of the fish in the 30-second TV spot, “Powered by Pizza.” Given that Doyle is the CEO of Domino’s, HOH finds the likelihood of him having an “uninformed palate” quite high.

The ad, in case you have no desire to waste the next 30 seconds of your life, declares, “No one’s coming up with a world-changing idea over halibut. No way.”

From Begich’s letter:

“It occurs to me that your pizza preference may be the result of an uninformed palate, so I’ve sent you a delicious Alaska halibut fillet for your edible edification,” said Begich.  “I know you’ll enjoy this tasty treat and hope it will become the first of many fresh Alaska fillets you will feast on in the future.”

Begich opens his letter by taking a page from the “Saturday Night Live” Weekend Update page of yore: “I am sure you are now well aware that thousands of Alaskans, me included, were offended by the Domino’s ‘Powered by Pizza’ commercial… Really?,” the letter reads. “The commercial depicts halibut, a staple in Alaskans’ diet and the bedrock of Alaska’s coastal economies, as a substance the Hollywood actor can’t put down. Why are you hatin’ on our halibut?”

The letter goes on to describe the health benefits of the fish. Begich’s office also sent a photo of the senator smiling with a large piece of halibut, because, of course.

In other news, “hatin’ on halibut” is still the least offensive of Domino’s culinary faux pas.