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The Perks Ted Cruz Forfeits by Dumping Canada

Red-blooded American Ted Cruz (at least on his mother’s side) has vowed to cut ties with his native soil, Canada, after learning that he most likely holds dual citizenship.

The Texas Republican’s hasty retreat from The Great White North might help smooth the path to a future presidential run:

(Jack Donaghy would be proud of you, sir!)

But it’s also going to cost him a host of opportunities.

Here’s a half dozen things Cruz has just kicked to the curb:

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Presidency, schmedency. There are no terms limits for the prime minister!

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Near-universal health care. (A bitter pill to swallow, we know.)

 

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Unfettered access to ALL Caribbean destinations.

 

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Bonus holidays!

 

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All the poutine you can eat!

 

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The most Stanley Cup wins over the past century (42 combined hockey titles vs. the 35 victories logged by all U.S. counterparts within the top 10 teams in history).

 

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