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Comics Lambast GOP in ‘State of the Uterus’ Address

Lizz Winstead, co-creator of “The Daily Show” is no longer willing to take the legislating of women’s bodies lying down. That’s why she’s storming the Web late on Tuesday — and all 50 state capitals later this fall — to rail against any infringement against reproductive rights.  

Winstead is venting some of that anger via the “State of the Uterus 2014” address she will deliver via Lady Parts Justice after President Barack Obama and all his Republican opponents are done jaw-boning for the night. The irreverent tirade takes aim at the Republican-led House (which approved a new anti-abortion funding measure hours before 44 was scheduled to speak), as well as conservative figureheads such as former presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee and failed Virginia gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli. Winstead pulls no punches in her assault on intrusive policies:  

“The end of the year left us unstable, I know that. When the government shut down, there was panic. With no politician in place telling it what to do, our vaginas ran amok,” she says about 2013’s breakdown on Capitol Hill. “It was vaganarchy.”  

“I am here tonight to assure the uteri of America that the government is back to work — and that Republicans and Republicans alike are tirelessly fighting so the uteri of America will have the same rights as the uteri of Saudi Arabia,” Winstead charges.  

Turning her sights from Congress to the Supreme Court, Winstead proposes that the judiciary leave the deal-making to her.  

“And if this Hobby Lobby case doesn’t make you appreciate America’s can-do spirit, I don’t know what will. Only right here in the United States — could a Christian craft store have the opportunity to run big science out of town and into the ground.”  

“This why I am proposing in 2014 that Hobby Lobby employees hot glue gun their knees together as a form of birth control,” she proposes.  “That, my friends, is called compromise, and we need to see more of it.”  

The battle will rage on this September, as Winstead and fellow comic Sarah Silverman fan out across America for a national pride event geared toward celebrating all that is womanhood.  

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