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Pollsters Get Into ‘Star Wars’ Mode

The Force has awakened among pollsters at Ipsos Public Affairs, which surveyed major “Star Wars” characters against the current presidential candidates in a race worthy of the Kessel Run.  

“Whether it’s due to this week’s release of Episode 7, or general disdain by Americans toward their political system, this data suggests that the Jedi Order is vastly more popular than either the Republican or Democratic Party,” Ipsos Vice President Chris Jackson said in a cheeky release about the firm’s new poll. Among the highlights of the online survey of 1,005 adults conducted Dec. 10-14, were that Obi-Wan Kenobi would defeat Democrat Hillary Clinton, 37 percent to 26 percent, with the rest of the field spread among those probably not in on the joke.  

Pitted against Republican Donald Trump, Kenobi would prevail, 39 percent to 24 percent. Clinton would vanquish Sith Lord Darth Vader, 33 percent to 20 percent, and Trump would similarly have an opening against Vader, 29 percent to 20 percent.  

Jedi Master Yoda would defeat both Clinton (41 percent to 25 percent) and Trump (42 percent to 24 percent.) Clinton barely edged Wookie Chewbacca, 32 percent to 28 percent, and Chewie was in a dead heat with the similarly hirsute Trump, 30 percent to 28 percent, within the survey’s “credibility interval.”  

“I’m the Star Wars nerd in the office,” said Ipsos Senior Vice President Phil Elwood, whose holographic message to HOH was found in a droid. (Kidding. We talked over the phone.) “There are a lot of us. We’re a polling firm after all,” he added. Further brandishing his bona fides, Elwood offered: “I have a black cat named Darth Vader who has more Facebook friends than me.”  

As to what stirred the pollsters to undertake this mission? “One of the beauties of working for one of the largest polling firms in the world is that if you want the answer to any question, you can get it,” Elwood said.  

And they certainly have a good sense of humor about it all. In its release, Ipsos signed off with: “Luckily for the presidential hopefuls, Star Wars took place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away and none of the characters meet the Constitutional requirement of being born in the United States of America, potentially highlighting weakness in the ‘birther’ argument.”  

May the Force be with them.

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