Now in theaters and coming soon to Amazon Prime, the Melania Trump ‘doc,’ somewhat appropriately named “Melania,” is shaping up to be Amazon MGM Studio’s biggest bomb (spending $40 million to secure rights and another $35 million on promotion doesn’t make much sense, if you’re only looking at this thing as a dollars and cents investment). Nor is it a critical darling (it has an 8 percent Rotten Tomatoes score).

But it’s also one of the most successful documentaries with a theatrical run, depending on how you judge money spent vs. money earned. Or political favor. 

Of course, a film about the first lady released one year into their second run with that title would be divisive. But did anyone go to the movies this weekend to watch this thing objectively? 

I paid money to watch this thing objectively.

First things first. “Melania” is not a documentary in the strictest sense. The subject doesn’t consider it a documentary, but rather, “a deliberate act of authorship.” 

It’s not-not a documentary, but if you’re looking for an objective look about a subject, you’re in the wrong place. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. There’s still lots to learn from a documentary-style presentation that’s been approved by its subject. 

One of the most captivating docs of the decade is “The Last Dance,” a commercial and critical success about the 1997-98 Chicago Bulls. This ESPN/Netflix production wouldn’t exist without the cooperation of both the NBA and Michael Jordan. However you want to classify that film/documentary series is how you should classify “Melania.” It’s a personality profile of a historical figure that’s also produced by that historical figure.

Melania Trump is the subject of “Melania.” Mostly. A better title might be “Two Weeks in Melania’s Orbit Before White House: The Return.” There are no deep, introspective moments with the subject, nothing not already known. 

The film exists as a time capsule of sorts: the two weeks before Donald Trump’s second inauguration. There’s seemingly no rhyme or reason for the decision to center the film around these weeks. Maybe it’s because Melania comes from the fashion world and wants the viewing public to understand her style preferences around the second inauguration? Inauguration dresses are a big deal, right? Style does seem to be the modus operandi for the project. It literally opens and closes the film.

The flick begins with a gorgeous aerial shot over Mar-a-Lago. The Rolling Stones’ “Gimme Shelter” begins. We get our first glimpse of the subject from toe to head, first presented in a pair of Louis Vuitton heels. It’s some people’s version of high-end, or at least expensive, style from the beginning of the 104-minute film. 

The Stones’ iconic outro of “Rape! Murder!” fades into another undeniable pop song, Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean.” There’s more money spent on the first five minutes of music in this documentary than, well, every documentary you’ve most likely seen on the big screen.

“Melania” is an outlier from both documentaries and political propaganda from the start, and it’s more than comfortable leaning into what it is. That doesn’t make it good — it is far from good — but it is worth a watch if only to understand the first lady’s view of herself.

The topics explored in the film include fashion, interior design, immigrants and the American dream, event planning, grief, bullying, foster children, individual rights and fear of the public. There really aren’t any grievances from the Trump orbit in any substantial way. Hell, Donald doesn’t even make an appearance until 25 minutes into the film. 

There’s nary a mention of the insurrection, in spite of a large portion of the film being shot in the same Capitol Building where the insurrection occurred. There are no stolen election claims, no badmouthing of Biden or any other politician, no MAGA talking points.

Only after the credits rolled did it become clear who this is for. Yes, there actually is an audience for “Melania,” but it’s probably not the majority of the people who made the film $7 million in mostly rural markets on its opening weekend. This thing is ideal for people who love the bread and circus of politics who aren’t political, people interested in the fashion and big names that populate inaugural balls but prefer to remain above the fray. But do these people exist in 2026?

The actual audience for this thing happens to be in the film. All of the billionaires running tech (Bezos, Musk, Zuckerberg, etc.) and ruining institutions (Bezos, Musk, Zuckerberg, etc.) are seen at the candlelight dinner/gala that Melania has planned for inauguration eve. 

With another fantastic needle drop, this time utilizing Italian composer Giorgio Moroder, it’s a scene of the haves and the have-nots that may be used as a campaign ad against what this current administration represents. Melania narrates the film (once again, not really a documentary) and credits the Trump donors for making all of this possible. She’s right. She’s absolutely right. This is the scene that has standing power. 

“Melania” is not a good film. It’s also not atrocious or boring enough to fall asleep by viewing. 

Director Brett Ratner, well versed in music videos, big-budget Hollywood fare and temporary moments of accountability, knows how to present footage that looks and sounds expensive. There is definitely style, but there isn’t nearly enough substance. 

The only reason it’s good that “Melania” exists is that the subject is the first lady of the most polarizing POTUS of the modern era (ever?). 

There does appear to be a disconnect between the subject and the outside world, at least when it comes to the policies of her husband. Sprinkled throughout the film are mentions of the subject caring about foster children. But who cares about Immigration and Customs Enforcement raids and family separation when there’s style to discuss?

The last word of Melania’s narration in “Melania” is style. From start to finish, style matters above all else. Style over substance isn’t always bad. 

But it’s probably not good when it’s the message half of America’s most powerful couple puts above all else.