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Guacamole Contestants Prepare to Mash Out Their Differences

Finally, the time has come for Members of Congress to stop “talking the talk” and start “creating the guac.”

Tonight at 6 p.m. at Jones-Day law firm, The Great Congressional Guacamole Contest will end years of unresolved debate among Members about who has the best guacamole recipe. “For decades, dozens of Senators and Congressmen have been insisting that they alone make the best guacamole recipe in the country,” said a high-level official insisting on anonymity to preserve the impartiality of the contest. “The contest will let us make that determination once and for all.”

Each Member who enters will be provided with a fully equipped preparation station, but the secret ingredients are left to the discretion of the Congressional cook. The contest’s organizer, Pat Collins of Collins Consulting, promises a head-to-head showdown pitting colleague against colleague in the unusual but still-fiery arena of a kitchen.

Collins hopes the contest will be a fiesta, since Mexican food, music and drinks will be available for all contestants and any guests, but also wants to inform and educate enchilada eaters that government regulations prohibit the importing of Mexican avocados to certain areas of the country, including Texas.

Sens. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Texas) and John Cornyn (R-Texas) are acting as honorary co-hosts of tonight’s quirky cook-off along with Texas Reps. Henry Bonilla (D) and Charlie Stenholm (D). Reps. Joseph Crowley (D-N.Y.) and David Dreier (D-Calif.) will join the Texans in co-hosting the event.

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