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Mustachioed Americans Unite!

The American Mustache Institute is on a mission.

On April 1, these mustachioed citizens will take to the streets of Washington to march from the Capitol to the White House in the Million Mustache March.

The civil liberties group is also pushing for the passage of the Stimulus to Allow Critical Hair Expenses Act.

Standing in front of the Capitol on Monday, AMI Chairman Aaron Perlut declared that the STACHE Act was the most important initiative in the history of initiatives. The STACHE Act would “provide an annual $250 tax refund for people of mustached-American descent, for expenditures on mustache grooming supplies.”

“Why is this important?” Perlut asked before taking a pull from his flask. “Why is this necessary? Why is this so just?”

Perlut says the American mustache is about quashing the image of the “ugly American.”

According to AMI science, the American mustache is gaining traction, but at a price. Beard and mustache trimmers, facial hair dye and karate training equipment are just a few examples of what mustachioed Americans are faced with, Perlut said.

Northeastern State University professor John Yeutter is the stache behind the STACHE Act.

Joining the AMI in this fight is tax giant H&R Block. Want more information about the Million Mustache March and the STACHE Act? Go to


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