And now comes a bizarro story made even more strange by the fact that none of it really makes any sense if one (read: any reasonable person) knows how things work on Capitol Hill.

According to a Capitol Police report, officers on Oct. 11 responded to complaints that an “unwanted guest” had taken up residence in the Senate ID office “reading a newspaper.”

The “unwanted guest,” the report continues, claimed to be “a U.S. Senator who wanted a replacement Congressional ID.” He or she was removed, arrested and “transported to Headquarters for processing.”

First off, Congress is in the middle of a monthlong recess, and lawmakers don’t come back in town willy-nilly just to pick up a new ID badge. (Strike one.)

Finally, even if Senators did need ID badges — like lowly support staff, Congressional aides and members of the Fourth Estate — you think they’d wait in line? (Strike three.) Lawmakers have their own elevators and subway cars, and they don’t always even have to walk through security checkpoints. Some Senators don’t even wait for coffee at Cups!

In any event, HOH can’t wait to find out the fate of this unlearned interloper.