Crash Davis’ Congressman and Other Useful Information

Posted April 2, 2013 at 4:00pm

In the spirit of baseball season, HOH is kicking off a new series that examines the congressional representation of our favorite fictional characters in television, literature and the movies.

The rules go like this — we decide where a fictional character lives and then look up who represents them in the House.

We will make the best guess we can with analysis based on shooting locations, historical data, creepy Internet stalker websites, the creators of these characters when available, sources familiar with the region, obsessive friends, thinly-veiled locations and textual geographic references.

We welcome any dispute with our assessments in the comments section below.

And even if the characters are hundreds of years old, we’re only dealing with modern members of Congress. Because, after all, a truly great hero of fiction lives forever.

“Major League”
Pitcher Ricky Vaughn (Charlie Sheen)
Cleveland: Democratic Rep. Marcia L. Fudge

We are not even certain if Vaughn’s criminal record qualifies him to vote, but if he could, he would have Fudge on his ballot, according to Ohio-native Christyn Keyes, communications director for Ohio Republican Rep. David Joyce.

“Rick ‘The Wild Thing’ Vaughn lives on West 6th in downtown Cleveland,” she wrote in an email. “Close proximity to two of his favorite things: the baseball stadium and the bar scene.”

That puts him smack in Fudge’s 11th District.

Keyes and Joyce outreach director Kevin Benacci said that it is their belief that third baseman Roger Dorn (Corbin Bernsen) lives in Gates Mills, Ohio, and is one of Joyce’s constituents.

Oh, Wild Thing, you make our hearts sang.

“Bull Durham”
Catcher “Crash” Davis (Kevin Costner) 

Durham, N.C.: Democratic Rep. G.K. Butterfield

Butterfield is the local politician who made it to The Show of Congress and represents the minor league career home-run record holder, “Crash” Davis of the Durham Bulls.

We were going to link the greatest stump speech ever, his “I Believe” monologue to Annie Savoy, but we decided it was a bit too racy, even for HOH.

So instead, here is a lesson from “Crash” for any member of Congress before he or she hits the Speaker’s Lobby. Be a little hard to pin down:

“A League of Their Own”
Pitcher Dottie Hinson (Geena Davis)

Rockford, Ill.: Democratic Rep. Cheri Bustos

It is probably a good fit that college basketball Hall of Famer Bustos represents Dottie, who journeys to Cooperstown in the movie. An argument could be made that Dottie lives in Republican Rep. Adam Kinzinger’s district, but we ultimately went with Bustos because the Rockford Peaches’ stadium is in her 17th District.

But, we must be honest. The member who most reminds us of Dottie is Sen. Kelly Ayotte, R-N.H.

Except Ayotte one-upped Dottie — she didn’t drop the ball when some jerk knocked her down at home plate.

General Manager Billy Beane (Brad Pitt)
Oakland, Calif.: Democratic Rep. Barbara Lee

Lee is not the only reason politics and Oakland mix. This is, after all, where burgeoning political analyst Jose Canseco first made a name for himself.

But the hero the Oakland Athletics really needed was Beane, who revolutionized the business of winning baseball.

“The Bad News Bears”
Outfielder Timmy Lupus (Quinn Smith)
Chatsworth, Calif.: Democratic Rep. Brad Sherman

And sometimes, losing sounds operatic:

“The Bad News Bears” ends on pretty much the same gracious tone as the greatest House campaign of all time, Sherman’s member-vs.-member race against now-former Rep. Howard L. Berman.

“Field of Dreams”
Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner)

Dyersville, Iowa: Democratic Rep. Bruce Braley

At this early point in the 2014 cycle, Braley hopes that if he builds a Senate campaign, they will come.

“The Sandlot”
Scotty Smalls

San Fernando Valley, Calif.: Democratic Rep. Brad Sherman

After all this, might someone still not understand the concept of this series?