Taste the Plain? Not on Our Watch

Posted April 8, 2013 at 6:42pm

With the NCAA crown on the line, House Democratic Reps. John D. Dingell and John Yarmuth contributed to “March Madness” by pinning their boozy hopes and ravenous dreams on the Michigan Wolverines and Louisville Cardinals, respectively.

As usual, the winner is expected to feast on regional specialties culled from the loser’s district. Which, at least in this case, includes fast food.

Because of the lack of specificity from both sides, HOH felt obligated to help sweeten the potential pot.

Per the obligatory press release touting said PR stunt, Dingell is bringing “a case of Ann Arbor’s Arbor Brewing Company beer and lunch from Zingerman’s Deli” to the table. By our estimate, that gives Yarmuth more than seven dozen different beer styles and more than 100 dining options — including 70-plus sandwiches (go “fresser” or go home!) — to savor. Beer Advocate raters seem most entranced by Olde Number 33 Alt Bier, Roxy Rye and Milestone Porter; we’re inclined to stick with Zingerman’s iconic Reuben or the Oprah-approved brisket sub.

Yarmuth countered with “a bottle of Woodford Reserve bourbon and a bucket of KFC.” The obvious problem is divining what kind of KFC man might Dingell be. A traditionalist? (Original recipe.) Crunch enthusiast? (Extra crispy.) Faux health conscious? (“Grilled.”) More importantly, is he patient enough to wait a week in order to sink his teeth into/through the forthcoming “boneless” chicken line, debuting April 14?

Bourbon picking’s more of a no-brainer. The Beverage Testing Institute likes Woodford’s Four Wood ($100; 93/100 points) and Double Oaked ($50; 92 points), while we would hold out for the Rare Rye Selection ($100).