A few years ago I was at Eastern Market in Washington, waiting in line at Bowers Fancy Dairy Products to pick some good Vermont cheddar. Coming in behind me was a member of Congress I knew, (now former) Rep. Dean Phillips, D-Minn. I asked him what brought him to Eastern Market. He said, “Shhh … I’m buying cheese for a bipartisan whiskey tasting at my apartment tonight.”

Despite the barrage of hyperpartisan rhetoric flung on an hourly basis by members of Congress of both parties, there are still bipartisan gatherings that serve as havens. Even during the government shutdown, plans are underway to continue with bipartisan staff and member events.

When I worked in the Senate, our office had the good fortune to get a detailee from the military for a year, a brilliant Air Force colonel. After a few months he offered us this analysis of the difference between the military and Congress. “In the military,” he said, “the generals get together behind closed doors, scream at each other — then come out in front of the cameras and pretend they’re friends. In Congress the members get together behind closed doors, usually talk reasonably with one another, then get out in front of the cameras and scream at each other.”

These bipartisan gatherings are more than just social events; they often lead to legislative relationships. The nucleus of the “gang” that wrote the major 2021 infrastructure bill was Senate Democrat Kyrsten Sinema and Senate Republican Rob Portman. They had bonded years earlier on a civil rights trip to Selma, Ala. Congressional travel is a common way for legislators to become friends, which often leads to valuable legislation benefiting the nation.

Another great bipartisan program is the American Congressional Exchange program operated by the Bipartisan Policy Center. The program pairs two members — a Democrat and Republican — who agree to travel to each other’s districts. They hold town hall meetings, meet with community leaders and generally get a firsthand sense of their colleague’s districts. Since its creation, 64 members of Congress have participated in 54 trips. 

“They’re grateful for these opportunities to find commonalities, learn from each other, and build bonds of trust that are foundational to effective legislating and solving problems,” said John Richter, director of the Governing and Civics Project at BPC and a former Senate chief of staff.

Senate chiefs of staff also have participated in regular dinners hosted by a nonprofit, Care Lab. More than half of all Senate chiefs have attended an event, with topics ranging from conflict de-escalation to reducing stress in the workplace. 

“As a result of the Care Lab experience, they’ve been able to ratchet down conflict between their bosses, discuss legislation and take on new projects together,” said Sarah Stephens, executive director of Care Lab. 

One might think that the onset of President Donald Trump’s second term would be an end to events like this. But both Care Lab and BPC have conducted multiple bipartisan events for members and staff this year.

The Congressional Women’s Softball Game has become another catalyst for bipartisan relationships. Unlike the men’s congressional baseball game, which pits the Democrats against the Republicans, the women’s team is bipartisan, and their opposing team is composed of female members of the media. “Because we’re on the same team on the field, we can work together and form teams in Congress to fight for issues that are important to women,” said Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, D-Fla., co-founder of the game.

Increasingly, with the margins in Congress between the parties so slim, bipartisan collaboration is required to be an effective legislator. Rep. Don Bacon, R-Neb., for example, has appeared at or near the top of both the University of Virginia’s Center for Effective Lawmaking scorecard and The Lugar Center-McCourt School Bipartisan Index. 

Former House Energy and Commerce Chair Fred Upton, R-Mich., regularly encouraged bipartisan collaboration as a way to make his committee more effective. 

“When you had bipartisan amendments go first in line [in committee] and pass, it sent a pretty strong signal that this was a bill that ought to go to the House floor,” Upton said. “I look back and had a wonderful bunch of friends who were instrumental and helpful on legislative issues. When you go to the other side of the aisle and say, ‘I really need your help,’ often they were with you if you had a personal relationship.” 

Who knows? The next great bipartisan deal may be hatched in a Capitol Hill apartment over whiskey and cheese.

Bradford Fitch is a former Capitol Hill staffer, former CEO of the Congressional Management Foundation, and author of “Citizen’s Handbook for Influencing Elected Officials.”