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Good Hair Decade

Everyone loves good photos of themselves. The ones with no double chins, no under-eye bags, good hair … well, you know the drill. But the older we get, the more often we find that those favorite photos are, coincidentally, a bit older, too. Perhaps that explains the preponderance of photos in the annual Congressional handbook of Members with lots more (and darker) hair, fewer wrinkles and firmer jawlines than we see on the real-life versions of them currently strolling the halls of Congress. [IMGCAP(1)]

In honor of the practice of using obviously outdated photos, HOH is proud to bring you the first installment in an occasional series we’re dubbing “Forever Young: the Challenge.”

When HOH called Capitol Advantage, the publisher of the guide, “Congress at Your Fingertips,” the researcher we spoke to — who didn’t want to be identified — immediately responded, unprompted, with a name of such an offender. “Ed Markey,” he said. Indeed, the photo of the Democratic House Member from Massachusetts in the most recent book depicts a practically baby-faced Markey, with a fringe of dark brown hair, sporting a skinny tie the likes of which we haven’t seen since the days of “Miami Vice.” A Markey spokeswoman says the 61-year-old Congressman identified the picture as dating from 2001. When HOH expressed skepticism that the picture had been taken anytime this century, the spokeswoman remained firm. “He has a boyish look,” she offered.

To be fair, the Members themselves do not select the photos — the independent publisher does — and an un-updated mug shot is more likely the result of a Member’s office just not sending in a new photo, rather than an excess of vanity on the Member’s part, the researcher tells HOH.

Still, we’re on the hunt.

Have a suggestion for a Member whose facebook photo is a pair of platform shoes (the original ones, not the revivals) away from being disco-era? Spotted what might as well be a daguerreotype? Send us an e-mail here..

Lock, Stock and Trouble. Budding politicos, beware. That political stunt you and your buddies dreamed up might be attention-grabbing — but it might not be legal. And it might get you the wrong kind of attention, like from those guys with badges.

A former volunteer worker in the district office of Rep. Jeff Fortenberry (R-Neb.) found himself on the wrong side of the law earlier this month after bringing a gun onto the University of Nebraska’s Lincoln campus. Colin Fury, the Fortenberry alum and College Republican recruitment chairman, and Craig Clark, a student at Southeast Community College, carried an AR-15 rifle and a .22 caliber rifle on campus Sept. 21, to the College Republican meeting for “Right to Bear Arms Day,” according to University of Nebraska college newspaper.

University Police and the Lincoln Police Department responded and searched the area after a person reported seeing the two carrying weapons. Fury, who spent the summer working in Fortenberry’s district office in Lincoln, is no longer associated with the Congressman, said Josh Moenning, Fortenberry’s district director. And while Fury, who along with his cohort was issued a ticket for disturbing the peace, said that he wouldn’t be “alarmed” if he saw someone carrying a gun, Moenning said the prank “was an imprudent move given this day and age.”

Byrd’s-Eye View. That icky eye injury that Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.) was sporting last week is a battle scar of sorts, but don’t blame those in-your-face CODEPINK protesters he publicly skirmished with. Byrd was seen around the Senate with a bloodshot eye, which was memorialized in several high-profile news photos of him.

Concerned about the Senator (and, in the small chance that it was the result of a bar brawl, more for the other guy), HOH contacted Byrd’s office. A spokesman explained that the Senator did indeed burst a blood vessel in his eye during an all-out battle — with a gaggle of his great-grandkids, who challenged their 89-year-old great-grandpa to a game of “how long can you hold your breath” in a swimming pool the previous Saturday.

And the spokesman also dispelled another possible explanation for the injury. “We wanted to put the rumors to rest that he got into a scuffle with Vice President Cheney over more war funding,” said Byrd Communications Director Jesse Jacobs.

The Rapping Reps. Losing the latest battle over voting rights for the District of Columbia might have left D.C. Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton so frustrated that she wanted to swear a blue streak. Now, of course Norton has kept her lips gracefully sealed, adhering to proper Congressional decorum. But the District Democrat put on an entirely different display on Thursday, when she cursed a proverbial blue streak during a panel titled “Is it Imus or Us: Can Blacks Find Freedom From Self-Promoted Stereotypes?” that was part of the Congressional Black Caucus’ 37th Annual Legislative Conference.

The usually ladylike Congresswoman was simply repeating lyrics from rapper David Banner’s song “Like a Pimp,” but the spectacle of the grandmotherly Congresswoman spouting some not-really-printable lyrics was quite a sight. Contending that she didn’t believe in censorship, Norton critiqued the stereotypes she said blacks perpetrated about themselves, reciting verses like “So hos flock like birds/I got one ho in the range/And one ho in the surbs.’” At one point, Norton blushed and even apologized to the crowd, saying, “You’ll have to forgive me,” before going on to complete the song. “Get yo motherf—ing money,” she concluded, looking abashed.

Another rapping Member, this one with more G-rated lyrics, was Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas). Jackson Lee spun some of her own rhymes at her CBC panel, “The Language of Hip Hop: A Way of Life?” on Thursday, even encouraging the audience to “Get up and get out of your seat!”

While Jackson Lee conceded that she wasn’t much of a rapper, she went to plead with audience members to move beyond typical gangster material to politically controversial issues, saying, “I want someone to rap me out of Iraq.”

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