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USSFCU Fills Cups Like Double Ds

Forget AAA credit ratings, the Senate Federal Credit Union is thinking more along the lines of double-D status for its loyal customers.

In a folding mailer sent recently to its patrons, the bank — unaffiliated with the Senate but with a branch in Hart Senate Office Building — asks “Got Big Plans?” before having unsuspecting customers open a pop-up centerfold featuring a headless torso of a buxom blonde.

United States Senate Federal Credit Union flier

“Preparing for life change can be overwhelming … you have to live through it AND figure out how to afford it,” the mailer, obtained by Roll Call, reads. “That’s where we come in. The US Senate FCU is here to help. We can propose products and services to assist you with financing everything big and small.”

Clearly, someone at the bank prefers things big. Really big. Women of the Hill can rejoice in knowing that the SFCU will “worry about the money” while we’re busy worrying about our own self-image AND what sort of plastic surgery we should have to compensate for it.

The mailer also chides the viewer in italics to “Please borrow responsibly!” right next to a chick’s exposed cleavage, constrained by a white tank top, of course.

We hear you, dude who came up with this ad and the dozens of people who must have signed off on it, and to you we say, “Hey Senate Federal Credit Union, our eyes are up here!”

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