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It Was One Heck of a Burger

Congress might hate pork, but a few Members geek out for red meat.

On Thursday, an executive from burger chain Red Robin testified on health care at a House Education and Workforce Committee — in front of one big burger fan: Nevada Republican Rep. Joe Heck.

Heck — an osteopathic physician by trade — was excited as, well, he was excited as heck because he just ate at Red Robin on Sunday! And he didn’t even know this guy was coming! Can you believe that?

“The burger was delicious!” he gushed. “Loved the bottomless fries!”

Soon South Carolina Republican Rep. Joe Wilson caught burger fever and invited Red Robin to come to his home state.

“I have a high regard as to Dr. Heck’s opinion on burgers, so you’re welcome in the Southeast,” he said. “Please expand!”

New Jersey Democratic Rep. Robert Andrews tried to get the hearing back to its health care focus.

“How do these bottomless fries relate to wellness?” he pondered aloud. But then he was swayed by the thought of unlimited greasy goodness.

“As someone who is addicted to fries, I would love those bottomless fries.”

Andrews later grumbled: “I am extremely disappointed that in scheduling this hearing, with witnesses from a premier burger chain and a cupcake shop … neither were asked to bring samples. … I want to express and register my extreme disappointment in that.”

Amen, sir. Amen.