Former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist did not feel he got the first-class treatment he deserved from United Airlines after a parade of passengers noisily purged their systems in his immediate earshot.

.@united I booked a first class seat and now I’m in the very last row next to a bathroom that’s in heavy rotation.

— Bill Frist, M.D. (@bfrist) January 16, 2014

The Tennessee Republican was bummed right off the bat.

I can confirm that the toilets on this @united flight work! My seat vibrates with each passenger’s visit!

— Bill Frist, M.D. (@bfrist) January 16, 2014

Things only got messier after that.

I also appreciate what @united is doing to keep the plane’s weight down. Bathroom walls this thin have got to be fuel-saving!

— Bill Frist, M.D. (@bfrist) January 16, 2014

He initially tried to chalk it up to sound capitalism.

If anyone gets this intimate w/fellow @United passengers, might as well be surgeon. Though maybe should have introduced myself first.

— Bill Frist, M.D. (@bfrist) January 16, 2014

But he eventually fell back on doctor habits and dispensed some medial advice:

Pro tip: ask your @united flight attendant for a cup of coffee grounds. It might help, and if not, placebo effect?

— Bill Frist, M.D. (@bfrist) January 16, 2014

His final diagnosis: all is not well in the purportedly friendly skies.  Meanwhile, at least one heckler thought the dose of reality might do the physician some good.

.@bfrist @united you do realize that this is literally how the overwhelming number of “normals” fly all the time, don’t you?

— kept_simple (@kept_simple) January 16, 2014