Staffer Guide to Valentine’s Day

Posted February 12, 2014 at 4:13pm

It’s a well-known fact of life for any Capitol Hill staffer: Getting packages delivered is nearly impossible.  

So what does that mean for Valentine’s Day? How will those long-stemmed roses find their way to your intended?  

My colleague Hannah Hess
reports that once again, Cupid has been barred by the House sergeant-at-arms.

“House Sergeant-at-Arms Paul D. Irving has requested that staffers advise their sweeties to refrain from sending any crimson roses or romantic gift packages to the offices under his purview.

The delivery policy of the House prohibits commercial couriers and vendors from making deliveries directly to House office buildings and the House wing of the Capitol, Irving warned in a memo to staff obtained by CQ Roll Call.”

But fear not, there is still a way to get those flowers to your Capitol Hill cubicle. Yes, UPS, the Postal Service and FedEx will be thwarted via Pitney Bowes, the off-site Capitol Hill package center. But a courier can still call a congressman’s office, explain they have a delivery and arrange for a staffer with a congressional ID to meet them outside and carry said delivery in (and yes, this includes interns). Use this as an opportunity to connect with your local florist and inquire about their delivery policies. Be sure to include the name, office and phone number of the intended recipient. Tipping helps, too.  

Sadly, Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday this year, which means those flowers will lose quite a bit of their luster come Tuesday (Monday is a holiday, don’t forget!)  

Whether you’re celebrating, sulking or boycotting Valentine’s Day, this is one of those rare, longstanding, bipartisan agreements: Every office looks better with flowers.