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Sorting Out the Fax on Latest Terror Threat

The war on terror, it would seem, is increasingly being waged with microprocessors, with our nation’s enemies independently broadcasting their horrific acts of defiance online while the administration fires back with automated drone strikes from above.  

Some alarmists, however, continue to rely on the vaguely familiar (but quickly fading from memory) bzzz-whirr-ping! of the lonesome office fax machine to get the word out about prospective evildoers.  

An HOH tipster shared the following “alert” regarding a trans-Atlantic bombing scheme that would theoretically be perpetrated by one of Oxford University’s star rugby players.  

(Courtesy HOH tipster)
(Courtesy HOH tipster)

The cryptic missive suggests Matthew Janney, the now live-in love of “Harry Potter” alumna Emma Watson,  is somehow aligned with al-Qaida, and has designs on destroying Big Ben and the White House.  

The message, which appears to have originated in Yorkville, Ill., and was sent to the district office of a lawmaker from the Northeast, fails to address a number of pertinent issues, including:  

1) What makes the dean of Oxford University worthy of being emailed this critical information, whereas us Yanks have to hunt for the potentially smudged intel beneath reams upon reams of discount vacation package pitches and ads for bulk office supplies?  

2) Why warn school administrators and a seemingly random congressman instead of, say, the National Security Agency (wassup, PRISM!) or Scotland Yard?  

3) Are bad guys really still taking their cues from “V for Vendetta”?  

“We take threats around here VERY seriously, but I’m not sure what to do with this fax,” the tipster told HOH.  

Something tells us this oddball warning isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.  

Just to be safe, someone give Rupert Murdoch the green light to go ahead and hack — or continue doing so, as the case may be — Watson’s phone.  

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