The Onion has uncovered the real reason our political system has devolved into such a dumpster fire: heavy metal.  

In its latest deep-dive into electoral issues, the satirical news site attempts to peel back the curtain on shadowy Super PACs and makes some alarming discoveries.

“Q: What do super PACs spend their money on? A: Selflessly ensuring that voters are as informed as possible about why Assemblyman Michael Evans is the wrong choice for Albany,” the dogged newsplainers divine, zeroing in on the absurd nature of the Supreme Court-sanctioned publicity blitzes.

The biggest bombshell, no doubt, is the naming of Guns N’ Roses’ debut album as a force to be reckoned with.