Members of Congress return to town next week to tackle plenty of important legislation, but we don’t think anything will be more pressing than a bill that the House Administration Committee recently took up — the IHOPs Should Stay Open All Night So We Can Get Some Pancakes Act.
The Onion News Network (and yes, we know it’s a spoof) recently covered a panel hearing on the measure, and faux House Administration Chairman Robert Ingersol looked pretty annoyed at three of his partied-out colleagues for submitting the emergency bill at 3:33 a.m. (and telling him via text message).
The legislation would require all International House of Pancakes locations to “remain open 24 hours effective right this minute, even if some manager has to get out of bed and drive down here to start making some pancakes.”
“This is about consumer confidence,” said Rep. Gary Nelson, who sponsored the bill. “What happens if the American people are out late with their colleagues and a couple of really fun software salesmen from Boston, and then they walk all the way to the [IHOP] and they find out that it’s closed?”
Among the bill’s other provisions: $2 million would be allocated to determine whether there’s really any difference between pancake and waffle batter and a tram would be built from a pub on North Capitol Street to all IHOP locations in D.C., the cost of which is estimated at “probably not even that much.”
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