This town can (will) turn on you.

Particularly if you commit a telltale faux pas that may make your friends/colleagues/superiors wonder whether they’ve let someone into their inner circle who was better left outside the barn door.

But fear not, closet savage: Alexandra Kovach is here to help.

The protocol maven has spent the past three and a half years helping local professionals — including “a handful” of lawmakers — navigate the daily stress test of breaking bread in polite company via two-hour etiquette lessons conducted demurely in the banquet halls of the Caucus Room (next session: Sept. 28).

And her “How to Hold a Fork” seminar ($125 for the class, a three-course meal, wine — “They won’t cut you off”) doesn’t stop at ferrying food to and fro.

“Etiquette is about making the other person more comfortable,” Kovach posits, stressing that a major part of her current curriculum focuses on unplugging from intrusive mobile devices. “It’s impressive now if you’re the person who DOESN’T answer the phone or a buzzing text.”